Friday Roundup: They're Just Words, For the Cry-Eye!!

No More of the Asshats in the White House

"One of the problems we have with our society today is that we've put faith and science at odds with each other. They aren't at odds with each other. If they are, check your faith, or check your science."
-- Sam Brownback, GOP Candidate for President

Senator – apparently the science class you took in eighth grade has slipped your recollection. Here’s the skinny, brother – we’ve just spent almost six years with an idiot who claims "not reading" as a virtue for leadership. We don’t want another moron parading around the White House who places blind faith above intellectual curiosity.

How about you run for President of the Dipshits? The Dipshits will believe anything you tell them as long as you really believe it – they’re all so wrapped up in the tribulations of Paris Hilton that they don’t really care one way or another. Also the Dumbfucks need someone in charge since Falwell croaked. They simply don’t know what to do with their expendable income now that stuffing Jerry’s coffers with alms in the hope that their contribution gets them into the Great Themepark Ride in the Afterlife. Also, the MPAA needs another Morality Sheriff since Valenti passed – I mean, look at how depraved the film industry is with it’s homosexuals and blacks getting some actual exposure.

But President of the United States? Maybe GWB has set the bar low, but I think we’ve had enough.

* * *
Next Week in SKALDing

This weekend (starting tonight) is the week of storytelling – first up: Acorn Theatre in Three Oaks, Michigan. Tonight at 8PM is the MAELSTROM (improvised storytelling based on audience suggestion) and tomorrow night at 8PM is the SKALD (prepared storytelling).

The Acorn is a supercool space – a renovated “feather-bone” factory (used to be a factory for corsets), it is now a premiere theater and concert space with an art gallery in the lobby and beds, showers and accommodations for about fifteen for performers to stay overnight. David Fink (the proprietor) is a good friend of mine and he is making the theater a giant Karaoke bar after the MAELSTROM and after the SKALD on Saturday, we’ll have a Texas Hold’Em Tournament. Too much fun.

Next week is the SKALD in Chicago. Monday and Tuesday, I teach workshops in the day and evening (free to the public), we then have the SKALD FORUM (Wednesday night – FREE) featuring NAMES and a light reception after; then the KidSKALD (Thursday night - $10.00), the MAELSTROM (Friday night - $10.00) and the main event – the SKALD 8 (Saturday night - $25.00).

Needless to say, there will be lots of pics here as the festivities proceed.

* * *
It was Forty Years Ago Today…

Yup. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band is 40 years old. So far, through all the tributes and thoughts online, I liked this the best:
Sgt. Pepper’s Sketch Revue

* * *
Sticks and Stones...For Chrissakes!

I don't know when it happened - maybe it was when it was decided that punitive damages could be awarded for harassment in civil trials, or when telling a dick joke at the office created a "hostile work environment," or perhaps when Ronald Reagan took office - but when did we become such a nation of thin-skinned, whiney pussies?

Is Gay the Same as Nigger or not?

(Nashville, Tennessee) A Nashville middle school teacher who equated calling something "gay" with the use of the N word has been suspended for three days without pay.

Stephen Henry, a sixth-grade teacher at Creswell Arts Magnet School, overheard a student describe something as "gay." Henry approached the girl who is reportedly African American and asked her how she would feel if he were to use the N word.

The girl later complained to her parents.

In response to an e-mail to Henry from Principal Dorothy Gunn questioning the incident the teacher, with 21-years experience said that he wanted to use the incident to teach the meaning words can have on people.

"Because it has been my practice all year long to address teachable moments when they present themselves ... I felt compelled to pursue that lesson," Henry wrote in the e-mail.

"I stated that regardless of what one means, when emotionally-charged words are used, the intent of the speaker is often never heard or understood by those who actually hear the offending words."

Suspending this teacher is ridiculous - his final statement proves his point and it is obvious that he wasn't trying to insult but to instruct. It isn't like he called the little girl a nigger (by the way, I watched Roots as a kid and find it fucking backwards to refer to nigger as the N-word - it's a word, folks. Grow up).

On the flipside, I can see the argument that to equate the word "gay" with the word "nigger," especially to little black girl, might be considered a poorly thought out lesson.

What really bothers me is that the lesson I learned in grade school (Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me) has all been forgotten in our overwhelming desire to legislate respect and common courtesy. The message sent to the kid is that she can say gay all day long but a teacher will be suspended if he says nigger - and we wonder why kids and their freaky parents run the system into the ground.

I was recently interviewed for an article about the cigarette ban on stages, and I mentioned that while we all sit quietly and let the government ban smoking in shows, soon enough some loudmouthed, thin-skinned attention-ophile will start a movement to ban the word "fuck" from all stages. I was wrong - it won't be the word "fuck" - it'll be "hate" words like nigger, gay, spic, cracker, fag, sperm-bucket, jizzstain, booger eater, and dork.

Can you imagine an August Wilson play without the word "dork"? Me, neither.

* * *
Leave Me the Fuck Alone!!

Yes, I donated money to [CHARITY OF CHOICE]. I felt good about my altruism and generosity, especially on my limited income. Hell, they gave me a pin.

That does not mean that [CHARITY OF CHOICE] should then harass me with repeated phone calls and emails for three months to solicit more money! Jesus Please-us - this charity is no different than a fucking collection agency.

The result? I will not donate money to this charity again.

* * *
I Love Paul Rudd